Average in bed? Average at your Job?

In doing performance evaluation training and research you quickly learn to shy away from the term "average" although many APR forms still use this term. Many are quick to point out that "meets expectations" or "average" means you are doing your job- not a bad rating but not a positive rating, right? So what is this hang up on the word average?

Let's think about this for a minute in other terms. If you were sitting at a bar one night and you over heard your ex talk about you as an "average" lover would that change your perspective of the word?

Should we stay away from using the word average as supervisors evaluating employees or are we going overboard in our sensitivity toward employee emotions? How do we tell an employee that he or she is just average?

Which brings me to this question for you parents...

Do you also think that teachers should mark little Johnny's paper with RED X's when he gets a math problem wrong? Would you rather see a blue ink check mark placed? Are we emotionally scarring our children by using red X's?

hmmmm?

Just another Manic Sunday

I got a lot of kudos about the "Knocked up and Pissed Off blog", I guess people are still a little shy about leaving actual comments. Leave comments people! Anyway, it seemed people really enjoyed that one or maybe it just struck a nerve. Actually a friend emailed me to let me know something fishy happened with her job related to her pregnancy when she went back to work. (Our babies are the same age). I am interested to know what the dilly is there. Mental note to follow up on that one. The examples I gave in that blog were completely real (I wish they weren't) and sadly they happen every day. The one I forgot to include were the comments people made about my maternity leave / FMLA leave being "an extended vacation"...? I don't know about you, but I don't think 30 hours of labor followed by a c-section qualifies as equivalent to as having margaritas by the shore. Just saying.

Anyway- there are lots more there, but I don't want to bore you or infuriate you (I guess it all depends on who you are-ha!)

I am studying and prepping for a class I am teaching tomorrow. The Duggar's TLC special (yeah the family with 18 kids) is on in the background. I am thinking they need a HR person to manage the potential issues in their family? Any takers? My guess would be you would have to be willing to work with a definite glass ceiling. Send applications to.. oh forget it this is MY blog. Back to reality.

I better get back to my work. Have a great week.

Knocked Up and Pissed Off

Yesterday was an incredibly moving, beautiful and historic day for the world. I look forward to watching those beautiful girls grow up as our First Family and I am so glad our generation of children will not have to endure the pain of what our fathers and grandfathers had to be part of. It will now be our duty as parents to teach our children to understand the significance of yesterday's inauguration. We have made history! It is so nice to see young children running in the halls of the White House! I secretly hope for one more Obama baby! (He He.. That was a Shout out to my pregnant and post partum girls!)

This one is for you and me and everyone else that has experienced the stupid and outrageous crap that people really do STILL say to you in the workplace. Coming from a seasoned HR professional you would expect me to say, this really doesn't happen very much- but I can tell you "first hand" after having a baby it DOES happen EVERY SINGLE day... Please pay attention and for the love of who ever you pray to - Please pay attention to the things you say to expecting parents.

Here are some tips:

• Don't badger a pregnant employee about the amount of time she/he is planning to take off. She/He cannot possibly know the exact answer to this ahead of time and in many cases may need to determine this after the birth depending on the health of the baby and mom (consider surgical complications, health issues, etc.). It is certainly reasonable to ask for a plan and get that plan in writing, but do realize unexpected changes can arise.

• One of the classics from a co-worker was when a he approached me about presenting at a seminar and I told him that I would be out on maternity leave. His reply: "You will still be out then? You are having the baby in July. The event is in September. How long are you going to be out for?" Me: Explains that I will be taking 5-6 weeks off work and then work from home until baby starts daycare at 4 months at which time I will be returning to work full-time (office). Him: "OMG- that is a LONG time!!, I cannot believe you are going to be gone that long!" Me- Thinking... Um excuse me? First of all have you heard of a Federal Law called the Family and Medical Leave Act, not to mention State leave laws? Secondly, the working arrangement I have pre approved is not really something that is any of your business, that is between my supervisor and I. I am sure this particular person did not mean harm by this, but seriously- just watch what you say!

• A definite No No... and another fav of mine..when a member of management said " I don't know how she is going to travel (meaning do her job) and breast feed." Whoaaaaaa charlie. How is this a conversation for anyone else to be having?? And furthermore, who says a traveling Mama can't breastfeed/pump on the go?

• Drum Roll Please............. This one is really a good one.. and it was witnessed by other colleagues" So are you going to lose the wise-ass attitude when you give birth or do you plan on keeping that?"

O.k these are just the things that come to mind quickly and things that were said to ME, I should really do some in depth thinking I am sure I could come up with many more treats. You get the point. Please think before you speak- especially to a hormonal, tired, over worked, prego employee. And you just might want to familiarize yourself with some discrimation laws.

Shower Conversations, The Economy and Your Job Search

I often have conversations with myself in the shower about topics I want to blog about, but then I get so many in my head that I become paralyzed and I end up not blogging at alI. It is akin to having mental google lists. I promise not to do that so much anymore. I need to just blog about it or get over it.

Since I do resume writing in my free (ha ha "free") time, I now officially have a backlog of like 849,254,850,428 family and friends needing their resumes transformed. Oy vey. Sorry people, I swear I will get on that.

Tough times my friends. People are out there desperately looking for work. My girl in Michigan says the economy is so bad she thinks her company will be closed by March (and she is on commission only) which may not qualify her for unemployment benefits. And just two days ago a close family member called in tears- her company cut her hours back, and she fears worse is coming. It is terrifying. My other bud in the midwest is in accounting and her biz is closing- they are an Employment Firm. And my sweet peach of a gal in the ATL area just got laid off and she is in IT and absolutely loved her work. Ahhh.. how frustrating.

• If you are currently working be grateful; but remember layoffs can happen anytime and to anyone, so have that resume ready and always think about your selling points.
• Save those special projects you did on a jump drive, gather those stats that your project resulted in and remember- employers LOVE numbers! If your work resulted in a 80% reduction in spending- those are numbers they will want to see!

The job situation may look bleak right now, but it is only expected to get better. Not only is the economy predicted to recover, but the boomers will start cutting their hours back and eventually retire and or move on to other careers/hobbies (notice I didn't use the sweeping generalization all boomers are retiring/moving along at the same time or by 20XX).

Think Outside The Box

If you feel like you are in a no win situation take some time to look at all your options. I don't care if you are an accountant or a shoe salesman. Have you always had an interest in healthcare? Maybe now is the time to think about going back to school or pursuing that dream that was put on the back burner.

Consider looking at creative options such as working in the healthcare field and areas that are in high demand (medical, dental, senior care) etc.

Perhaps going back to school isn't an option, but what about something more simple like running errands and providing personal assistance to the seniors in your community? After all, I know plenty of elders that have no business driving themselves to the grocery store or the beauty salon.

Heck the other day I was chatting it up with a girlfriend and she was telling me that taking transportion from the burbs of Connecticut to the airport would cost $ 200.00 roundtrip per person! What?? That is highway robbery! I told her with all the people we know out there unemployed and looking for extra cash she could find someone to do this for the cost of gas money plus a fifty spot. Don't get me started on all my savy business ideas.

Carrying on. I have a family member that went to school this year and got fully certified as a national EMT! Guess who paid for the program? Her Federal Disability Benefits Program! So, even those on Federal SS Disability may have educational support options. As I told this family member once- "Stop crying in your cheerios about not having any money and being on a fixed income- there are wonderful programs out there that will PAY for you to go to school! " After making several phone calls (inevitably there is always one person who gives erroneous information). I am really proud of her. She got the information, went to school, did amazing, and is now nationally certified. Not to bad eh?

I am going to leave you with this.

• Never ever stop networking. Continue to network even when things are slow. Lunches might get pricey, but how about a handwritten note to an old colleague? Grab a cup of coffee with some cohorts and keep the lines of communication open. You never know when a career change or a letter of recommendation will come in handy.

p.s. Next week: Why can't McDs put the cream IN the COFFEE??

Obama's Pecs and 5 Interview No Nos

O.k. so while I was packing for Christmas I almost fainted. I was watching CNN and suddenly the future leader of the free world popped up on my flat screen (I know you are thinking, so what?) ... but here is the thing- he was only wearing shorts. At first I thought- How darn inappropriate for them to show our President in this manner- he is trying to vacation with his family before occupying the most stressful job in the world! I must admit, I am not a sucker for a muscle head. Those kinds of boys are just not my thing. But, OMG is he is quite beautiful, just absolutely smooth. Was this picture appropriate for the media to take with their super duper lenses? I am not sure. Was I drooling over our President elect? Yep, I sure was. So this gets me on my next topic of what not to do on your next interview.

Here are some things you should not do on your next interview:

1. Tell your prospective employer how bat shit crazy your boss is. Yes, I know we have all had those bosses, it is just part of life. I believe you when you say she made you do degrading errands that were NOT part of your job description. I believe you when you say that she broke all kinds of laws in her supervisory capacity and I believe she swore at you regularly and may have even threatened you under her breath. Here you are looking at your next job opportunity- it will serve you no good to complain about how terrible management has been to you in your next interview. Trust me on this one, everyone has had a bad manager or supervisor at one time and possibly many times. And whatever YOU DO, do not explain that you are in litigation or in the process of suing the company for harassment or something along those lines. That is better suited as a conversation between yourself and your attorney. It is generally not an appropriate conversation to have in an interview forum. (Some exceptions may apply based on your field and nature of work- consult with your attorney on this).

2. Don't over do the cologne or perfume, in fact why risk annoying anyone with a smell that might make them want to vomit? A good smell to you might be a very very very bad smell to someone else. Ivory soap and clean and fresh shampoo along with clean clothes and some deodorant will most likely do the trick. Since I tend to obsess over lint and animal hair, do me a favor and bring a lint brush with you for the ride. It never hurts to de-lint yourself right before the face to face.

I will never forget the lady I interviewed that smelled like a bottle of watermelon perfume, it made me so sick I could not focus on the interview. She told me she accidentally spilled the bottle on herself. (Could this be a cover up for something else?) hmmm.. Needless to say, she was not selected as a finalist.

3. Please think of something creative when asked about best and worst qualities. I am not even going to elaborate on this one. O.k. a small hint...opportunity.

4. If they ask if you have questions and you say no, you probably shouldn't be hired. Seriously.

5. Always send a thank you note. Handwritten is best. (Don't get me started on people who fail to write thank you notes- this could be a new blog coming soon)

Off to google that pic of the pecs.

Pink Slips, Emotions, and FAQs...

A family member recently received the dreaded PS , yep the "pink slip". Her company did their pink slipping a little differently- it was more of a "hey stick around until January, and if nothing has changed for us financially then we will formally 'PS' you." I am not sure who it hurt more - her or me?. She had been with this company for about eight years and had a true love affair with them. The pay was just average, but they were incredibly flexible with her family situation, and most importantly, she loved the work. Flexibility was key for her. She is a Generation Xer with two little kiddos, and if you know anything about Generation Xers it is that we are obsessed with work-life balance. I am sure it is because we were latchkey kids, left home alone to fend for ourselves for days on end, but back to the story. I felt like someone knocked the wind out me for days, so I can only imagine the gut wrenching conversation she must have had with herself on the car ride home and in the mornings following the conversation convincing herself to get out of bed and go to work for another few weeks despite knowing her days were numbered. I reminded her to make sure her company provided her with the standard legal separation notice so that she could make a visit to the unemployment office. Dontcha know, I am always rational during crises.

So I have been thinking not just about my family member's PS situation, but about the emotions of job searching AND about some FAQs I have been wanting to cover. I know times are hard right now, and I hope these points will help you or someone you know if they find themselves staring down a PS:

1. In short, making a job change can be an emotional roller coaster of ups and downs often with your family's well being riding on the contents of what looks like an automated rejection letter. How can you not feel emotional about that? However, try to remove your emotions from the phone calls, emails, letters etc. When corresponding with your POCs (points of contact)- you do not want to be a hot mess when the recruiter does follow up with you to let you know someone else was selected for the position. You just never know when they will call you next.

2. I have been getting a lot of feedback about how frustrating online job searches (monster, hot jobs, etc.) are. I hear you on this! (Note to self: Future blog topic.) We need to bring back some personal contact here! There is way too much to wade through and it is getting hard to tell what is legit not to mention the thousands of "work at home" opportunities that simply are clogging sites.

In the meantime-

Here are a few FAQs I wanted to share:

1. Dear HR Nerd: I recently found two jobs at one company that I am extremely qualified for. I sent my application and resume in for the jobs and I received rejection letters on both. Is it o.k. for me to contact the company and find out why I am being rejected?

HR Nerd: Yes, It is completely appropriate to make contact with the company and find out what their hiring process is and why you may have been eliminated from the pool of candidates. Before you do this, try to remove your emotions from the phone call. Don't call when you are upset, frustrated, or anxious. Wait until you have calmed down and can explain why you feel you were a strong match for the positions and that you would like to understand what process they used to screen their applicants. Be professional, and courteous and you just might be on your way to making a wonderful contact for future job opportunities. Often, the company filled the position with an internal candidate or the position was eliminated due to financial constraints. It is a good sign that companies are recognizing internal talent (hiring from within), but it can be frustrating when you are looking for a job! It is also possible that they had a large number of very qualified candidates. Hang in there, and continue to network and maximize your personal connections along the way!

2. Dear HR Nerd: I submitted my application and cover letter/resume online, it just seems so impersonal. Is there anything else I can do or should I just wait to see if I receive any response?

HR NERD: If you think you are a good fit for the position, I suggest contacting the hiring authority (go to their website and look up their contact information) and give them a personal phone call or send them a paper copy of your cover letter and resume. Sending a paper copy of the resume is always a good idea (after you have followed directions for applying for the position). When you send the supplemental paper copy be sure to indicate that you have already followed instructions and applied online and you are just following up to ensure they have everything they need. Address the cover letter to them and be sure to sign a copy of the cover letter with an ink pen. You can also call and follow up to ensure that the hiring authority received your information. Do not call if the instructions say "no phone calls please". Have a professional look over your resume and cover letter! Good Luck!

Have suggestions about a blog or topic? Email me at YourResumeGuru@gmail.com